20 years ago I was 21…

Last year at this time I was…..hopeless. There I was pregnant, turning 40 and living in a trailer. I have really accomplished a lot this year! I made a human, moved to new digs, had some success and some failure–overall not a bad year!

This birthday this year did not fill me with the same dread and denial of last. I hardly gave it a thought–then the other day while doing my daily chores this thought popped into my head, “20 years ago you were 21!” I remembered that weekend, not your usual “drink-fest.” I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding and my G’ma B made me a sheetcake with recycled 21 candles on top. I know I am not the first to conceive of the idea of writing a letter to my young self–but I have been thinking about Sara at 21 and I wish I could tell her these things…

  1. Embrace being Sara–don’t feel bad about it, perfect it! (go get the Lasix and gastric bypass early! Shed those shackles.)
  2. Don’t live in the past, it didn’t break you.
  3. Follow your dreams–don’t worry about how long it takes, time passes anyway.
  4. Enjoy sneezing without crossing your legs.
  5. Forgive yourself.
  6. Accept that you are a late bloomer–do you really want to “Peak” in your 20’s?
  7. Don’t spend your hours wishing they would pass quickly–you never walk that way again.
  8. Love will find you–do not waste any energy looking for it.
  9. Nap while you can and enjoy sleeping in on the weekends. You really don’t sleep much after 34.
  10. Value all the amazing people you are going to meet–get rid of the toxic ones sooner rather than later
  11. You CAN say NO!
  12. Learn the guitar, you will always wish you did!
  13. Just face it, the only thick, dark hair you will ever grow is on your legs, eyebrows and chin……
  14. Learn to be happy with enough–Enough is plenty!
  15. Don’t waste a single cent on tanning beds! You will never, ever tan. You will end up with lightbulb burns on your buttocks and brown spots on your face!
  16. Loathing your loneliness is silly! There will come a day when all you wish for is being able to pee without an audience.
  17. You will try every hair color you can think of, then settle on your natural brown.
  18. You will have good bosses and bad bosses-quit! There are plenty of low-paying jobs out  there just for you!
  19. Feel what you are feeling–running from guilt, pain and fear make them grow.
  20. Don’t worry so much–it all works out in the end!

So that is pretty much it–I guess I would tell her to invest in Google, Yahoo and Apple and to invent Facebook, but oh well.

I wonder what 61 year old Sara will have to tell me? I hope I make it to find out!

Sincerely, Sara

9 thoughts on “20 years ago I was 21…

  1. Pingback: 20 years ago I was 21… | thesisterslice

  2. WOW! LOVE THIS POST. Deep thoughts by Sara Beth…love the perspective and insight…you identified fear and joy that many know they have experienced but have not the “guts” to own it like you have…love how this post represents your awareness that has helped your behavioral change. Your awareness has made you the better person now than you were 20 years ago…

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