I am not a great dad, but I am an involved one. I don’t think involvement equates to greatness. If you look back at the most recent post “World’s Okayest Mom” the photos of our girls in those situations – I have to admit, it was me, I take ownership.
In almost 10 years of parenting I have had the police called on me, an epi pen stuck in a child’s thumb (that wasn’t experiencing anaphylactic shock), hospital visits to numerous to count, filthy kids from playing in mud and construction sites. Sore fingers, splintered fingers, kids with burns and a broken limb…but through it all lots of smiles, kisses, hugs, and “I love you’s”…which make it all worth it.
As a father of girls (F.O.G.) I have learned to like pink & purple, I know all the princesses and their story, I watch fashion shows when the girls play dress up, I have played with Barbie dolls, listened to made up books and stories…I have done much to show that I am “involved”, but remember in my opinion involvement does not equate to greatness.
Any father or body can sit in a living room and watch their kids, but I have chosen to not only be involved but engaged. The Webster online dictionary defines “engaged” as one who is involved in activities, greatly interested, being in gear; even the #4 definition of engaged; – “involved in a hostile encounter.” Now if you’ve ever had to discipline a 2 to 4-year-old aged child – you know all about hostile encounters. As an example I engage by taking part in their dress up shows, being a judge and on two occasions, being a contestant – wearing (which is not often) make that trying to wear a dress, which only went up past my ankles, but it guaranteed the “Oh! Daddy” (with rolled eyes), I regularly get “interruptions” while attempting to talk to another adult, but I stop the conversation if appropriate, move down to my kids level and ask “what the matter is” showing great interest, that great interest has taught the girls confidence in me, even when I place them in dangerous situations (disclaimer: not done all the time, but when it is…), i.e., on top garage roof, I would hear our neighbor out of her kitchen window yelling, “Jim Seward I am calling the police, get those precious girls off of the there!” Usually Amy is there to re direct me; but sometimes I like to be the fun guy that does what mom won’t let us do…
As a F.O.G. I have had to learn that God has created boys & girls differently. I have learned I can not be selfish if I want a meaningful relationship; It is my full-time job to keep them safe. Remember definition #4? “Hostile encounters.” I know my girls have encountered hostile environments at school, playing with friends, playing with each other, even when asked to do their chores. I want to be there to guide them to help grow them to make right decisions and ultimately to be successful in their own independence. Sometimes I dialogue too much, but that’s me. I’m teaching them that nobody’s perfect.
Amy (sister #2) asked me to be a “guest” Blogger; since I don’t “blog” I can be considered a guest contributor, it is my intent to contribute fatherly input, from someone who doesn’t know it all, but surely with all my schooling and life experience I can share some of my gift of counseling and encouragement and a willingness to learn. I have accepted my place in a F.O.G. I have the great responsibility to show my girls what love looks like, as I will be the first boy they fall in love with, and through Gods awesome, unconditional love, I am confident in my abilities to do so. It is my intent that these guest contributions will benefit daddies, fathers, husbands, and friends of those who prescribe to a slice of these sisters. While you go through this F.O.G. drive slowly, stay aware, avoid bright lights, be patient, obey the rules of the road and hopefully you will find your destination safely and with more confidence.
A proud father of girls,