I hate to iron. Am I selfish? Am I lazy? Don’t answer this.
My husband works hard and he wants to wear a shirt and tie. He doesn’t ask for much in this life but he’d like his shirt to not look like he slept in it. I have watched him iron his own shirts, I felt bad – like I wasn’t supporting him like he supports me. The fact is my mom taught me how to iron and Jim’s didn’t. He doesn’t ask me to iron but he should. It’s the LEAST I can do for a man who plays with my children, tucks them in, reads to them and helps with all household chores while concurrently running a multi-million dollar non-profit organization.
So here it is Sunday late afternoon, I took an hour nap when the baby did and when I get up I notice that he had run to the store to get what was missing for the week ahead. I pull out the ironing board and ask him to choose the shirts he wants to wear for the week. In surprise and disbelief he says,” really”? I say “yes, I feel like ironing” (I really don’t, but I feel like letting my husband of almost 15 years know how much I care for him and appreciate him for all he does for me and our children – even my sisters children). He chooses his shirts and I set up my station. I don’t have any spray starch, which my mother taught me to use if you want a properly ironed shirt. I google how to make your own spray starch and discover that it is deceptively simple. 1 heaping tablespoon of corn starch (left over from Lyla’s last bought of battery acid diarrhea) to 1 pint of warm water (approximately 2 cups). I mix it up and roll it up and throw it in the spray bottle.
I iron while we all watch a movie together, I like being in the same room as everyone else. I also like to feel that I am taking care of my husband. I smile as I envision him heading into an assessment or a meeting feeling confident in a crisp ironed shirt and tie and that I helped make it happen.
See chores aren’t about being oppressed but about serving other people and making both of you feel loved and cared for at the same time. I don’t want to get up at 4am everyday and face the world and pretend that I love my career. I want Jim to do that, that’s the way he was made and he enjoys it – the hunter, I’m the gatherer. I enjoy spending lazy mornings with my 1 1/2 year old watching Elmo and practicing the abc song.
Anyway, I wrote this because I want you to think about (in whatever relationship you are in) that doing for others is about love and doing something for yourself. The best way to feel better about yourself is to do something for others. Get your mind off yourself and look around.
I thought about my hubs last night and not about myself and you know what? I feel good! You can’t buy that…