When I had but one son, we lived in a wonderful neighborhood and playdates happened. My house, their house, a park or a playground. Sometimes I would make a fancy, yummy lunch for us Mommies and nugs or mac and cheese for the kids and great times were had by all. We got so good at it we had Brunch Dates, Lunch Dates even included the hubs and had Dinner Playdates. Those were good times, fun times.
I had one bad playdate with a gal I was trying to get to know. She arrived at my house and her child vomited all over the piano, wall and floor. She scooped him up and walked out the door and left. We smiled and waved at each other at church after that, but we never really connected. That piano never was really right after that.
So then I moved. Moved away from our chummy neighborhood to a stinky, broken-down trailer with holes in the floor and even worse on my bro-in-laws farm. This temporary living condition lasted 2 years and I was ashamed…really ashamed to have anyone over. I chatted with a few other mothers at the park during swimming lessons.
Last summer I was invited to a playdate at a park. I got excited. I made the boys wear their “good” clothes I wore my best flip-flops and away we went. I live in the sticks, with these little boys, alone a great deal of the time and I crave adult conversation! I am a bit shy–not nearly as outgoing as Amy– There were 8 gals there with offspring of every shape, age and size. The group smiled and introduced themselves and the filled the picnic table. I pushed kids on the swing and left with sore arms feeling more lonely then when I arrived.I love people, I just hate meeting new ones!
So here I am this week invited to another playdate. I agree, mark it on 3 calenders, join the group on facebook and put it in my phone. The day before was horrible, one of those “faster I go the behinderI get” sort. I wake up and try to talk myself out of going. It was snowing, I was behind on my work, I am too old…
I took a deep breath and pulled a few tricks out of my Wonder Woman snack book. I cut slices of cheese into little hearts and flowers with my cookies cutters, sliced veggies in fun shapes, made my scratch ranch dip. I also planned to wow all of the mommas with a grapefruit avocado salad with lime vinaigrette.
I got ready–wore my best yoga pants, scrubbed the baby and set off early in the snow. I am telling myself how good this is for me. How I need to get out, interact with grown ups, meeting people is a gift…yada yada yada.
I get there early–there are a lot of cars already there. I sit and wait until the appointed time, gather my trays, scoop the baby and get ready to smile.
It is oddly quiet for a play group. Deathly quiet. I look around the cold dark building, there is a blue hair Bible study. No playdate…
I sit in the Gym about 1/2 hour and I call the Hubs to check my notes…I have been having memory problems lately…what did I miss? I play ball with Monster Baby…yeah, I am not alone with him nearly enough. I sing “All by myself” loudly…..who can hear me?
After an hour I pack up and go home. Eating my snack on the way.
I hear later that everyone was running late and they had a great time without me.
I never dated in high school, in fact I only had a handful of awkward uncomfortable dates in my life. I had few good ones…and I married that guy. Maybe I am not meant to make friends that way–maybe I need to try different groups or SAHM Seeking adds or something….
Sara’s Scratch Ranch Dip
1 16 oz sour cream
1 tablespoon buttermilk powder (find this in the baking section, this is my go to for dips, slaw and marinade for chicken) You can use fresh if you have it-you need the zing.
1/4 cup dill fresh or this refrigerated kind I am in love with, Gourmet Garden in a tube.
2 cloves garlic grated
1/2 cup parsley chopped fine
juice 1/2 lemon
mix and chill and share…or eat alone in your car on the way home.